Water In The Carburator

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Blonde: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Blonde: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Blonde: "In the pool." .

Aligator Shoes

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A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager.

“$200” – he replied.

“That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde.

The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irritated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled
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Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied.

After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators.

He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.

Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed

“Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!

Blonde One Liners

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  • it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

  • if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

  • she studied for a blood test - and failed

  • she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

  • she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

  • she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

  • she sold the car for gas money.
  • when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

  • she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

  • when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

  • she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" and turned around and went home.

  • after the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."