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The teacher gave her fifth grade
class an assignment: get their parents to tell
them a story with a moral at the end of it. The
next day the kids came back and one by one began
to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and
we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we
were taking our eggs to market in a basket on
the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump
in the road and all the eggs went flying and
broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?"
asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one
basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now,
Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we
raise chickens for the meat market. We had a
dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we
only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this
story is, don't count your chickens until
they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny
do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this
story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot
in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail
out over enemy territory and all he had was a
bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.
He drank the whiskey on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then he landed right in the
middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of
them with the machine gun until he ran out of
bullets, then he killed twenty more with the
machete till the blade broke and then he killed
the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified
teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy
tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't F--K with Uncle Bob when he's
been drinking."
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