The Ledend of the Mirror

More Blonde One Liners

Helpless, At Best

Two Blondes Arguing

A Blond With A Gun

Legend of the Mirror

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie - - *poof* - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.   Sooooo, A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." - - - *poof* The mirror swallows her. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." - - - *poof* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...." - - - *poof* top

Blonde One Liners

What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes at a four way stop.   Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.   Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for 4 hours, they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.   What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.   What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? Oh look, daddy ... doughnut seeds.   How did the Blonde die ice fishing? She got run over by the Zamboni.   Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate.   Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.   How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.   Why can't Blondes dial 911? They can't find the eleven on the phone!   What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth!   How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer? There is white out all over the monitor.   How do you get a Blonde on the roof? Tell her the drinks are on the house.   Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them. A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says,   "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!"   The docters asks, "Did you dye your hair?" Yes,I did," she replies with a frown.   The doctor asks, "Were you a Blonde?" "Yes I was. Why do you ask?"   The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!" A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said "Oh, look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?" A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".   A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21". Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, counting, "22" "22" "22". Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.   How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye? Shine a flashlight in her ear.   Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID? Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.   Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter".   Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists? They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters. top

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.

The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks,"

The other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks."

They argued and argued for a while and while they were arguing a the train hit them.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of

their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door

open,

but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to

catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,

"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down.